For a friend who will always be..

I know i'll find none as caring as true as loving as u....
but trust me what i gave u was the best i evr cud...
jst that n nothing more....
n perhaps thats where i was sinfully wrong.

tears r gifts we ve exchanged,
dnt u think we ve both been insane?
it was luv u were looking for....
that was only what i wasnt there for....
n the rest ? u know it as it is..

U ve alwayz been there
but i was just too secure to care...
i did often feel the warmth
n i thought it was just a friend....
a soul soooo beautiful...
a catalyst to c me through my troubles...
but i realise ur soul was much troubled ...
more than wht i ve evr been!!!
but still u were there for me in my slightest whim.
how ? just how cud u b soooo gud to me???
without any gain ,rathere will all that pain..

U were a lease of life whn life was all alone...
U pulled me through whn happiness wasnt known...
n i wanted u there ....
till my dying days....
holding my hands n clearing off the haze..
warning me about the world...
showing me different wayz...
i cud alwayz touch the stars
but with u i cud dream of the moon.
i needed u for all ur kindness n care...
but the bargain of luv u know was not fare..
it is a gift , for someone special u shud spare...
i ve alwayz been a friend n thye best one to be
i thought of sharing ur tears , ur sorrows n all ur pain....
but u ve proved me another...
n my dreams go in vain.

I know nothing was intended ...
but now that it is there...
i realise u must go...
for its luv that ll exist...
n it has to b shared!!!
or u ll be toxicated...
sigh! u r half done with it...
and i find muself at fault.
coz its me who kept it going
for the last two years...
i cud ve prevented the damage
only if i was sure...
but it was u who said ''things have changed n i m just ur BEST FRIEND''

but alas a frnd today is worthless..
n that i ve alwayz been
u need a lover n a passionate one as u..
a frnd like me will do no gud to u..
coz frndship to u has taken a backseat

u ve a plenty to reach for..
the luv of ur life i bet is on its way...
the day will soon cum when around u her arms she ll sway...
u r soul will rest in peace..
u ll see u ll soon b at ease...
with her winsome smile she wud kiss start ur day..
the cheer she wud bring will shooo off all ur dismay...
under the splendid moon the two of u ll play...
the beauty of her eyes wud beautify the world...
the suppleness of her hands wuld be there for u to touch...
the mysterious lass wud make ur world go round...
with all this n more at ur rescue...
u ll forevr stay safe n sound...
a harmony sooo scintillating wud exist then in ur life...
n that sensuous young thing will forever add spice..
u ll forget all ur worries... forget all ur friends..
the luv of ur life wud dictate all ur trends...

i understand its a need
n a desperate one indeed..
the desire is very real
it exists evrywhere..
now it is for god to make a fast fare...
Its a dream i ve ever dreamt..
with open eyes today....
i ve never hurt a being (u r n angel )...i know
so he ll have to listen to me
n soon my dream will see the light of day...
the day is not far...i can sense it
sentient i was... but i acted like a kid
now that i m far n jst very far
u ve no shakles of so called frndship
to keep u tied to me...
helpless i m but theres nothing u can do

to let u go was somthing i nvr thought
but now that i hve done..
i'll nvr ve one
someday i'll get married.. n will sleep with someone..
But a friend??? no i wont b able to call him one.
what is a friend ? nothing at alll
just a word to b used only when u fall
we rather b carefull now..
as to repeat any gone moment
wud bring tears.. tears.... n further more tears...
Expectations???? there wernt really any.
today i must say i do have many...
i expect u not cry as me...
n look wht u did?
u already broke the first one that i EVER did.
u ve got to be strong n confident
coz ur luv wont take u this way...
she wud like the party to start just when u stand up n sway...
n shes there u ll see...
once u put me away...
thats again wht i expect u to do
n i know u wont turn me down this day...
the proof of which will b when u just dont write to me today.

i ll forever hold u dear...
n that u must know...
i ll have u in my life always..
just always as i had deee.....

misssing u is a part n parcel of life now,more so because i ll never get to know u more.i dnt know we cud ve saved all the hassles u ve faced.
n solution i found is just best one to be, this is perhaps the only way i c u ll be happy. do well in life n forever know u happiness finds its own way into ones life , one doesnt necessirily have to look or search for it.just wait n u ll see i was not wrong...

The wordz of dee...

Hands are shivering n eyes are wet,but tis time I m unable to keep my promise agai ,tis is a small request plz read this mail for god’s sake. This is about what my heart says ……I have spend nites writing tis …I have lost and always lost and I don’t wanna loose tis time…..

I read a poem that a friend wrote from memory,
It was deep in its lurid reality.
I miss a friend that is no longer with me ,
It left me livening in life of obscurity.

I am sitting here on my own,
I wonder what is missing,
Then I realize that its U my best friend.

Why did we have to have that fight ,
It was stupid and not right.
Everyday I think of you,

Wishing our frdship wud be as gud as new.
I still see ur face in my dreams,
It hurts and it doesn’t help at all.

I still want u in my life as crazy as that seem,
I want to u to catch me when I fall.

I still remember the first time we met,
There was something so different about u .
Your frdhip was something I wanted to get,
That smile u said hi to me was new.

I came to u the hour I was in pain,
Looking for answers , I cried to u in vain.
I shared the many skeletons hiding in my heart,
I knew then y’d be my friend,
I knew it from the start.

Two years and we are barely holding it together,
What happened to the way tis all used to be.
I never wanted u out of my life ever,
I sat there for a long time pretending not to see.

We decided to go out and make it all alrite ,
It didn’t worked out of course we knew it cudn’t.
We cudn’t even really stand each others sight,
It sudn’t end tis was but it did and it sudn’t.

There is a lacuna in my heart, I hate it being there,
I wish it cud be filled, but for that lacuna is urs
And can only be filled with the presence of ur frdship.

I miss u and everything u were to me .
Ten years from now we will look back on it all,
We will be older and finally be able to see
Tat friendship will stand the test of time and never fail.

Now I sit alone reminiscing the past I’d blown,
“SORRY” the heart utters, waiting for the future unkown.
Will future see the flowers of past and burry the thorns apart.
The dilemma goes and goes on.

I am no poet , to rhyme the song.
Mistake I did , was no monk.
Can we harmonize the sentiments again ,
Let the friendship have scintillating gains.

Sorry to write tis all, tenure of friendship is not so small,
Given a chance I can prove , there lot to groove.
U r friend neither gud nor bad , only the best I can ever have.
I am rong, I am bad , tat is no reason to hate,
I am punished n I regret so what if I am late.

Big cities have small tales, I am ur friend a bit insane
SENORITA u were called and u’ll remain,
The souls are same , the spirits regain.

“eise hi hein hum”,we recite,how can the distance survive,

“kal ho na ho” , we have to decide , tis relation has to survive.

Friendhip strengthens from fights,
But do’t go away from sight.

Today make a plight(promise), n make me delite.
Dee waits for ur reply, to have his head held high
U r the precious jewel in friendship chest,
Together we are n we will be best

Let the Phoenix fly high , over the azure sky,
And just,just say the three words most precise,

The repky i want concise.
The three words u know or shall I revise,
Its the sentient device.
Close ur eys and whisper in ear , the only words I wanan hear

MEIN HOO NA